By Johnny Punish

Today, U.S. President Donald Trump lashed out over his recent trip to Paris in a series of tweets Tuesday, blaming the Secret Service for his cancelled visit to a cemetery for fallen U.S. soldiers in France on Saturday.

“By the way, when the helicopter couldn’t fly to the first cemetery in France because of almost zero visibility, I suggested driving. Secret Service said NO, too far from airport & big Paris shutdown,” the president said on Twitter, while also complaining people didn’t report on his Sunday speech during the rain.

By the way, when the helicopter couldn’t fly to the first cemetery in France because of almost zero visibility, I suggested driving. Secret Service said NO, too far from airport & big Paris shutdown. Speech next day at American Cemetery in pouring rain! Little reported-Fake News!

But every other world leader could attend. It got so bad even the French weather girls on French TV News were making fun of the Cadet Bonespurs!

Gen. John Kelley attends cemetery without U.S. President Trump who remained at his hotel.

So it begs the question, what’s the real reason he did NOT go?  I mean, clearly this guy is lying again.  So what’s going on now? Well, here’s my top three best educated guesses;

1. BATHROOM CHALLENGES: He ate some nasty old reheated KFC aboard Air Force One and ended up on the imperial bathroom throne all day and night! Trump never wants us to see him sweat because he thinks it makes him look weak diminishing his leverage probably looked around and said “look, it’s raining. Let’s blame that…”

2. BAD HAIR: Melania beat his ass up when she found out Wall Street Journal had evidence that Donnie orchestrated the payoff scam to Porn Star Stormy Daniels and his long time lover Karen McDougal. She probably messed up his hair and he did not have the 4 hours needed to coif and shape.

3. INDICTMENTS EMERGENCY: He got a call from Donnie Trump Jr. crying about the coming indictments and realized that he was going down with him if he did NOT brain storm his way out. So he was probably on the phone with master lawyer Rudy “Misdirect” Guliani brainstorming all kinds of angles to distract everyone!

Oh when he came back to USA, on Monday, the official Veterans Day holiday, he choose to also NOT visit the cemetery at Arlington.  Great Job Sir!

So what lame reasons can you come up with to give Trump an out?
Your comments please


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  1. Mohammad Ali didn’t push for war, didn’t feign reasons for not serving…in other words, he was NOT a ‘draft dodger’, he was a conscientious objector, of which there were many. He was straight up about his opposition, didn’t use deferments or power connections to avoid the draft. He also did time for it. Absolutely NO comparison to people like Tramp and GW, they weren’t objectors, they ARE chickenhawk cowards that today gladly send our boys to bring death and destruction to the world, preaching about patriotism and godliness. To compare those that openly defied the system of worldwide war to the privileged cowards that call for war (as long as they don’t have to go) is insulting. Trumps record dealing with Syria shows his true duplicity. How many have the US helped to kill since he took office?

  2. tRump doesnt go….and acts generally like an idiot for a very simple reason

    he is so self conscience and insecure around people of substance that he has to change the narrative.

    it is exactly the same reason why he feels comfortable around dictators ….he believes they are just like him and that makes him feel welcome.

    notice he is at his most offensive around powerful women….refusing to unfold his arms take his eyes off the floor or shake hands with Germany’s merkel for example.

  3. The same excuse was used in Korea, kind of, and is standard issue, excuse.

    If he is unhappy with the level of support from any group or individual, he withdraws.

    Loyalty, obedience, and protection from any threat is what he seeks.

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