NBA Player will clean toilets for 5 years to atone for shouting Anti-Irish slur

Which Proves There Is No Such Thing as “Irish Power”


Dissociated Press

Leonard Meyers, 29-year-old power forward for the Alaska Chill, has been traded to Siberia, where he will clean toilets for a new Russian NBA franchise for five years to atone for shouting an anti-Irish slur while playing a video game.

Myers found himself embroiled in controversy earlier this month after he repeatedly screamed the anti-Irish expletive “mick” while playing the popular “Stone the Stones” video game. The game involves players throwing rocks at members of a famous rock band, with points awarded for direct hits. The former NBA star and current toilet-cleaner claims he was actually screaming out the name of the Rolling Stones’ lead singer and didn’t realize it was an ethnic insult.

“Sorry, Leonard, that’s not good enough,” responded Jon O’Greenbutt, head of the Anti-Irish Defamation League. “We’re sending you to Siberia for five years to prove that conspiracy theories about the Irish ruling the world are simply not true.”

Meanwhile the Rolling Stones are reportedly changing their lead singer’s name to avoid the appearance of insulting the poor, oppressed, powerless Irish, who lost 600 million people in the never-to-be-forgotten Potato Holocaust, and therefore are holy, sacred, entitled to vastly more wealth and power than the non-Irish, and (most importantly) incomparably  and uniquely privileged and quite obviously genetically superior to the rest of humanity, especially the British. Stones manager Andrew Loog Oldham says the newly renamed singer, Kike Jagger, will be undergoing ethnicity alteration surgery at Walter Reed Memorial Hospital next Wednesday.


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  1. Read it and weep you lesser mortals because when the capital of the world is moved to Dublin the following will be mandatory.
    Begorra will be mandatory before every sentence.
    Red hair will be mandatory for every one on the planet.
    Guinness will become the beverage of choice for everyone on the planet.
    Museums will be set up all over the planet to the 6 million victims of the potato famine , and yes there will be a yearly Potato famine day and visits to schools to perpetuate this li/e , I mean truth
    Irish jokes or anyone who points out the power of the Irish will be ruthlessly crushed by our AIDL.

  2. In fact, that they have the power to send him to Siberia for five years undoubtedly prove that conspiracy theories about the Irish ruling the world are absolutely true

  3. I’m sorry, Kevin, this is a non-issue. I graduated from the same school that you did, the University of Wisconsin. 1966 was the year when any high-school graduate in Wisconsin had to make a decision, to be drafted into the Vietnam war or… not. I chose not, and so did you. We went on to be teachers instead of killing Vietnamese. That was the “issue” that was before us. Please reply…

    • Tommy, graduating from High School in 1967 we had the choice of prison or screwing with the draft board paperwork.
      We did not lose Our understanding of satire.
      Don’t bother responding.

  4. Can’t we all be friends. I really miss all the ethnic joke books I had as a kid. I always can count on you Kevin for a good laugh. There is a true danger if we can not acknowledge or recognize our differences. Survival requires diversity lost in a mono-culture.

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