Trump, ADL Propose Re-Education Camps for “People Who Don’t Love Israel Enough”


Dissociated Press

In the wake of President Trump’s executive order banning criticism of Israel on college campuses, the ADL has unveiled a plan to send violators to re-education camps—and Trump just tweeted his approval. The plan calls for the US Army Corps of Engineers to repurpose dozens of derelict strip malls, Wal-Marts, military bases, and sewage treatment facilities as re-education camps tasked with helping critics of Israel overcome their destructive habit and become productive members of society.

“Critics of Israel may be subhuman goyim who must ultimately be enslaved or exterminated,” ADL spokesman M.M. Schneerson explained, “but they deserve a chance at rehabilitation…at least until the Messiah comes, at which point all bets are off.” The ADL plan envisages an initial round-up of 500,000 critics of Israel, with subsequent follow-up efforts aimed at filling the camps to capacity, with the target number set at roughly six million.

Under the Trump-ADL plan, the Chinese contractor Chī shǐ will be hired to run the Love Israel VEry Much OR Else (LIVEMORE) camps modeled on the Uyghur reeducation camps in East Turkestan. Inmates will rise before dawn to salute a giant Israeli flag and sing patriotic Zionist songs. They will be given vocational training aimed at developing qualifications for work in the booming Israeli-dominated tech and communications sector; most will be trained to become professional Zionist social media trolls. “With the help of such advanced learning techniques as electric shocks to the genitalia, even the most hardened anti-Israel recidivist can easily be rehabbed into a productive, fully-employable troll,” explained ADL spokesperson Hava Nagila. “As the saying goes, if you feed a goy Zionist propaganda he eats it for a day; but if you train him to pump out Zionist propaganda professionally, and pay him a few shekels an hour, he’s yours for a lifetime…or at least as long as you keep paying him.”

Along with vocational training, the LIVEMORE camps will feature first-rate recreational facilities. In their spare time, inmates will play highly realistic video games in which players compete to see who can bulldoze the most Palestinian homes and kill the most Palestinian women and children. And once a week they will get to visit Joy Division, where the fruits of Israel’s leadership in the fields of narcotics and human trafficking can be enjoyed under IDF supervision.

Though it is expected that most inmates will be successfully rehabilitated, separate facilities for those deemed incapable of productive pro-Zionist work will also be constructed. These will consist of gigantic airtight shower rooms with plumbing connected to hydrogen cyanide gas lines. If the shower rooms fill to capacity, incorrigible critics of Israel will be loaded in the back of diesel vans with faulty exhaust systems and driven somewhere where they won’t be able to interfere with the Jewish people’s sacred right to self-determination ever again.

Despite such occasional re-education failures, the ADL expects that most inmates will, in the end, share the fate of Winston Smith:

“But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Israel.”


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  1. Kevin, Recently Mark Levin declared that Trump is the first Jewish president of the U.S. But wasn’t Trump silent about his religious beliefs, if he had any, at the beginning? It was not clear what religion he subscribed to was it? Recently it was reported he converted to Judaism in a “secret” ceremony in New York. What if instead of this he came to you and said he wanted you to take him to your Mosque and become a Muslim? This would not have made him many new friends in Israel would it? Is Trump being sincere in his sudden religious addiction or is it just for show with the goal of obtaining some easy money to finance more expensive properties around the world after being President? Would the Muslims accept him to their faith? What if he had gone to Saudi Arabia and joined their faith? Isn’t personal religion a private thing? Isn’t Trump spitting in the faces of Americans by claiming to now have become a Jew? Has not he been a defacto Jew all his life in order to “get along” in New York which is nearly all Jews? Is he doing this for honest religious reasons or selfish reasons, such as borrowing large sums of money from Jewish billionaires or triillionaires? Isn’t his GOD MONEY?

  2. Kevin..You’re kidding right? I mean this isn’t really true…IS IT? I’m getting confused by all the back and forth between real news and fake news.

  3. of course your not giving them any ideas Kevin, I refer to the Mostsad creed. If you want njew and novel ideas for the Juice suggest truth telling and honesty.

  4. I love this njew writing style, kind of Solzhenitsyn’ish… of course Solzhenitsyn had to write fiction type historical works. Kevin doesn’t… yet.

  5. . Hail to the creative application of sinology by the anti-semitism reasercher Dr. Barrett as he very scholarly provides the name of the Chinese contractor company (CCC) which — due to a phenomenal history of expertize — is to build the re-education centres:
    . “the Chinese contractor Chī shǐ ”
    . Barret correctly provides us with the critically nescessary tone marks above the vowels, without which a Chinese name (or any word) is usually incomrehensible:
    , Chī shǐ = 吃屎 = Eat shit
    . CHinese re-educatin camps have traditionally been the envy of all other regimes in that they actualle were run to earn a profit. Due to the rising standard of living in CHina, such camps are now running in the read in China, so the Chī shǐ, inc. (吃屎公司), which used to be state-owned but has now “gone public”, have now cast its eyes on fifty states where culinary standards are more on the cheap.

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