Bill Gates Expresses Remorse for Unleashing COVID-19


Dissociated Press

At a press conference this morning outside his 350-billion-dollar mansion sprawling across three of Seattle’s poshest neighborhoods, philanthropist Bill Gates tearfully confessed: “Woe is me! Would that I had not hired the CIA to take Event 201 live!”

Spluttering, bawling, and blubbering, Gates toweled tears off his face and explained: “But it was…it was supposed to help with depopulation! They promised me it would! Instead, the whole world is locked down with their spouse or significant other, with nothing left to do but make babies! Horrible, awful little human babies! And there are no more condoms left, it’s even worse than toilet paper! If you order condoms on Amazon today you won’t get them for six months! And what’s worse, the abortion clinics have all closed due to social distancing! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?! The coronavirus is creating another baby boom! The horror! And almost all of the victims, useless eaters though they are, are well past reproductive age! This damned virus isn’t solving the population problem! It’s actually making it WORSE!”

Gates’ closest advisor, a nice CIA germ warfare man from Fort Detrick, consoled the grieving billionaire by whispering in his ear: “Don’t worry, next time we’ll get it right.”


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  1. Poor Bill, no one loves him and all he’s doing is trying to help humanity

    Heck he even had an Event 201 for that sole purpose of helping us

    and still no-one loves him, he’s being a victim of a smear campaign

  2. dear kevin, would you mind advising your comments on march 28 edition of econimist magzine and its contents, please

  3. There is no legitimate ‘peer-reviewed medical research’ on the subject, none whatsoever, no legitimate doctor would ever claim otherwise.

    You can’t even correctly interpret the info you posted, did you miss this passage?

    “* Thimerosal has a different form of mercury (ethylmercury) than the kind that causes mercury poisoning (methylmercury). It’s safe to use ethylmercury in vaccines because it’s processed differently in the body and it’s less likely to build up in the body — and because it’s used in tiny amounts. Even so, most vaccines do not have any thimerosal in them.”

    So no, your claim that there is mercury and ‘heavy metal toxicity’ in vaccines is nonsense and it states that plainly on the link you provided; clearly either you didn’t bother to read it or couldn’t understand it.

  4. Please stop regurgitating internet crap that has no basis in fact. The flu vaccine does not cause autism, Parkinsons, Alzheimers or any other disease, there is no mercury or aluminium in vaccines, you’re just repeating disinfo.

  5. Exactly…gotta love the catch phrases these anthropomorphized beasts usually use to show their disgust for human beings in general, depopulation, useless eaters, goy etc. Ted turner used some of the same demeaning phrases when he was being interviewed by Charlie Rose. Dr. Barrett hits another one out of the ball park.

  6. Same time as event 201, 369 US military “athletes” deployed in Wuhan next to fish market. Same time as event 201 China becoming no 1 economic power in world. Same time as event 201 Mike Pompeo new sec of state. Same time as event 201 a new virus that does not kill children targets specific race of people is no worse as bad flu is being considered as covert operation to bring down Chinese economy and punish Iran by US military planners. Did event 201 have anything to do with decision to deploy the virus into Wuhan? Did Bill Gates? No he was financing and organizing a conference to help the world prepare and plan what to do in case of a world pandemic. Bullshit if the event 201 had a thing to do with what military did by order of commander in chief.

    • You implicitly state that the Wuhan virus was manufactured in a lab. Do you honestly think there would be a Patriot Act or a DHS if we weren’t all witness to cavemen flying passenger planes into buildings? Where’s the profit in vaccines if you don’t have a pandemic? Problem, reaction, solution. Personally, I find his messianic complex and vaccine obsession creepy.Also, I don’t care for him him being the arbiter of human freedom with his “immunity certificates” requirement.

  7. Not very funny. Pretty stupid actually. It was an obvious US military operation in wuhan to knock chinese economy down a few notches. Then another operation deployed onto Iran nuclear base around March 1, when economy of china frozen and only one infected in usa so it seemed good time to punish Iran and blame that deployment on chinese.
    There’s a difference between funding research for making vaccines and making offensive biological and chemical weapons made to kill. Gates has nothing to do with what Bolton, Pompeo and Trump pulled off in Wuhan, or Qom. Blame the obvious guilty and that’s the US military CIA Bolton Pompeo Trump and the new ridiculous Navarro character too… Did you personally say or write anything to urge Trump to shut down borders to China in January? Did anyone in Congress? I bet Gates did since he is not dumb and actually gives a shit beyond the political bullshit.

  8. Just read about a petition to remove Gov. Whitmer signed by 200k Michiganders, so far. What’s the lowdown?

  9. There is so much truth in this. Abortions in the age of corona virus are indeed abandoned to make room for “urgent” procedures, as abortion is not an urgent medical procedure. Which definitely will produce baby boom in 9 or so months time, especially with 3 or so billion people staying indoors.

    • Your letting him off too easy there Edward! “How I could torture thee, let me count the ways dear Bill!!”

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