Kushner Nominated for Peace Prize—Nobel’s Corpse Detonates Posthumous Suicide Bomb


Dissociated Press

Nominated by Jeff Epstein’s attorney…Dershowitz who wore his underwear, he tells us, when upstairs alone with a teenage girl at Epstein’s New York rape brothel…getting a massage.

Residents of Norra Begravningsplatsen, Solna, Sweden were awakened this morning to a tremendous explosion. Many assumed there had been an accident with a gas main, while others feared a terrorist attack.

The latter group’s apprehensions proved well-founded. The explosion, which destroyed much of the Norra Begravningsplatsen cemetery, turned out to be the world’s first posthumous suicide bombing: Alfred Nobel’s corpse had protested Jared Kushner’s nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize by rolling over in its grave and blowing itself to bits.

Titti Skitqvisst, president of the Nobel Endowment and great-grand-niece of the celebrated inventor, explained: “When my ancestors buried Alfred alongside a few hundred tons of his greatest invention, dynamite, we had no idea that his corpse might one day figure out a way to detonate it—or even have any reason to. Who could have imagined that a genocidal Zionist scumbag like that Kosher Nostra slumlord Kushner would ever be nominated for a prize named after my great-grand-uncle?”

A Kushner Crime Family spokesperson responded: “If mass murderers like Barack Obama and genocide perpetrators like Shimon Peres and Aung San Suu Kyi can actually win the Nobel Peace Prize, there is no reason why a mobbed-up moron who has screwed up the Middle East worse than it already was in service to Zionist genocide shouldn’t at least get a  nomination. We applaud the nominators, and deplore the terrorist—who, by the way, should never be referred to as a suicide bomber, since he was already dead, but instead should be called a corpse-icide bomber. There, that will show him!”

The myriad scorched and scattered shards of bone and bits of rotten flesh constituting Alfred Nobel could not be reached for comment.


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  1. For those of Y’all folks who don’t know shit about the Swedish language:
    “Skitqvisst” means “shitty branck”
    “Titti” is used by some sweeds at ‘having prominent tits’ or ‘please peep at’in a parody of similar US idioms
    “Norra Begravningsplatsen” is the squarr north of the North enterance to the main cemitary in the Swedish town of Solna

    • (“Skittquist” means ‘skytty twig’, actually. The spelling would be “skit-kvist” in present-day Swedish, but appear with the ancient spelling to make it look like an old established surname.) “Quist” often refer to a sideline branch of noble failies — often given to illigedimate offspring of the Noble family.
      Alfred Nobel’s surname is pronounced /nu’bel/ and not like the worde “noble” which is also spelled “nobel” in Scandinavia, but then always pronounce /’nu:bǝl/.

  2. Come on Kevin, your article appears to casts the false positive that Jared had a brain! He was simply a monkey on a lease carrying out his master-baters wishes. The only real problem was, Trump was also on the same rope along with the demented senile Biden – in fact all the presidents were with exception of maybe JFK.

  3. The Kushner spokesperson are right, at least ask to MBS borrow his bonesaw and split in two the Obama’s Nobel and give you a half to Jared.. 🙂

    • After all MBS already gave half of all his money to #Jarhead’s deranged property investments in NY in order to keep them at bay. Now that sTrumpet has departed hsi grand mansion on Pennsylvania Ave Jarhead is no longer of the slightest use to Mohammed so ……. time to send a few heavies ’round to Kashner’s new pad (if anyone can find it) and ‘invite’ him to meet with the great binSalman in Riyadh or …… by way of compromise, in Istanbul bringing with him all failed, forgotten & non-existent repayments made on outstanding loans.
      You know the rest of this story!!

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