Sandy Hook Parent Robbie Parker Weeps in Despair After Learning He Just Won $120 Million


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Dissociated Press

Sandy Hook parent Robbie Parker has once again raised eyebrows by reacting unexpectedly to an emotionally-charged event.

Informed that a jury had awarded him $120 million, Parker collapsed on the floor, weeping pitifully, before pulling himself together, wiping away the tears, and flashing an insincere smile as he kicked off the Sandy Hook parents’ press conference celebrating their $965 million dollar victory over Alex Jones.

Conspiracy theorists believe that Parker and other Sandy Hook parents are crisis actors paid by Alex Jones to pretend to hate Jones while offering the Infowars host invaluable mainstream media publicity. According to the theory, Parker and the other parents hoped and expected that the jury would throw out their ridiculous, frivolous lawsuit.

When the jury unexpectedly found for the plaintiffs and awarded them almost a billion dollars, Parker, who received the biggest award, was devastated. But ever the talented crisis actor, after a few moments of hyperventilation as taught by method acting founder Lee Strasberg, Parker was able to get into character and pretend to be happy to have just won $120 million.

Alex Jones, reached by telephone at an extraterrestrial-run brothel twelve miles beneath the surface of Austin, Texas, heatedly denied that Parker and the other Sandy Hook parents were crisis actors, and threatened to sue any satirists who suggest otherwise.


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  2. I remember a former state police officer doing his own investigation, and finding a myriad of inconsistencies, lies, and omissions in the “official” story. For instance, he discovered that a number of school officials had their mortgages paid off in full, on almost the same day. No birth or death certificates found for the “victims”, etc. I can’t believe Alex Jones was actually found guilty or spreading falsehoods about the event.

  3. It does seem as if any enquiry into Sandy Hook is treat by the authorities as some kind of a threat to National Security….

  4. The murderous tribe of shysters that run America want the morons to believe in fairy dust. Way back, I watched as an old guy, who worked as a school inspector after retiring from the police attended a council meeting where the Woke bitches were talking about the mass shooting at that school.

    In a booming voice the old guy stood up and told the gathered assembly they were inventing students that never existed, adding that school was SHUT DOWN FOUR YEARS EARLIER due to asbestos contamination.

    When the Females in charge realised they had been exposed they silently packed their gear and skulked out of the meeting. Now Jews have found Jones ‘guilty’ and fined him a gazillion ounces of fairy dust. That will keep the morons believing in ‘justice’.

    There never was a mass shooting there. But the Jids know their fining Jones will make their constituents believe everything their media weapon promulgates.

  5. Meanwhile
    Back in the jungle
    Everyone paying out the nose
    For the holly cost 911 gladly empty their pockets and minds to “the savior “

  6. For a short while the US government admitted it had been a drill. 4 years no internetconnection to the school. All parents received a house for christmas. Alex Jones himself suspected of being Controlled Opposition, playing the minds of gullible people. In those days Google was not censoring as much and geeks found tons of material proving their point.

  7. I’m still waiting for Fetzer’s Supreme Court action to move forward. Personally, I believe the court should order the exhumation of the victims’ bodies. That will settle the question whether no body or anybody died at SH.

  8. I don’t know about Jones running the show, but he sure did a piss-poor job of defending his position, which was the intention. He effectively stopped any further investigation, didn’t he? His handlers were ecstatic.

  9. What more could one expect from completely fair and impartial trials than $!b in settlement for such a hideous offense to method acting?

    Everyone check in by 12:00 noon.

  10. So Parker just boosted Jones ratings by making him a martyr.🤣 Sandy Hook never achieved its objective of nullifying the 2nd Amendment which was its objective. I guess they can claim a consolation prize by suing Jones. Nuff said.

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