Blockbuster: All Tuckered Out

Yuppie scum, the Seychelles, and dead pimps, oh my.


…by Nia Molinari

I spent four years at college preparatory boarding school, and I don’t regret it. The education was fabulous, both academically and socially. I learned how to effectively navigate privileged assholes with precision, although I did not realize at the time that this was an actual skill. In retrospect, I should have used it more.

After leaving boarding school, I valiantly rebelled against my upbringing and never looked back, nearly to my demise. I never thought about my adolescence much unless something triggered a memory. And I didn’t care about politics. I thought it was all pointless. I occasionally voted in presidential elections, but was otherwise politically nihilistic.

That all changed on June 16, 2015, when that vulgar, thirsty, attention-whore freak of nature came down the escalator of his gaudy Tower of Babylon and announced he was running for President of the United States. As a former professional stripper employed by lesser mobsters, I knew what Donald Trump was. And I was terrified.

I began to read about politics: Historical. Contemporary. Domestic. International. I was obsessed with figuring out how this could have happened. I’ve now spent the last six years reading non-stop about shit I never cared about, and should have.

After all, these men, these plutocratic, predatory, self-entitled sociopaths in country club clothes, have been manipulating and destroying the world my entire life. Perhaps my innate revulsion is due to my prep school upbringing, and this is why I chose to politically bury my head in the sand for so long.

One man in particular seems to be holding the privileged-prick MAGAphone at the moment—the everlasting gobstopper of gluttonous hypocrisy, one Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson.

Like Brett Kavanaugh, Tucker reminds me of the majority of the guys I went to high school with. I imagine them sitting at the country club bar in pressed khakis and slip-on penny loafers, no socks, emanating a sickening reek of Polo by Ralph Lauren.

One of them is lewdly talking about the waitress’s tits, and the other is bragging about his favorite stripper’s new boob job (which he paid for), while their wives and kids have Sunday brunch across the room.

Hypotheticals aside, there’s plenty of information about Tucker out there from people who are much more politically savvy than I am. Hell, I’m still learning. This is a great overview.

In March of this year, John Oliver had his own spectacular Tucker take. People wonder if he’s always been this way, and Rachel Maddow claims yep, that’s who he is:

“I think the thing he gets a knock for that he doesn’t deserve is the idea that he’s evolved and changed in some radical new direction. Tucker has always been that guy. He is legitimately that guy. He is not faking it.” Maddow got her start at MSNBC on Tucker’s show, so she knows what she’s talking about.

My instinct wasn’t far off. I discovered that Tucker and I have a number of things in common: We were both raised as staunch Republicans, had a parent that bailed on us in early childhood, and then a step-parent who came from old money.

We were kicked out of our first boarding school, subsequently graduated from a different prestigious boarding school, and we both have an affinity for Hunter S. Thompson.

There are plenty of Tucker grievances to write about: His daily pontification of flagrant utter disinformation bullshit, his vituperative, mass-cultural-gaslighting word salad about current events, his pretentiously smug mug and psychotic laugh, and, this week, his brazen attempt to distort and whitewash the events of January 6.

Read on…


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  1. Everybody, keep in mind that or whatever reason this is a “hit” piece on Tucker Carlson. It is written by an ex-stripper. It attacks the messenger, not the message.

    My rule of thumb has always been when you attack the messenger and not the message, someone does not like the message but cannot refute it. It is a strategy that all journalists see through immediately. It is kind of like an article where you do not present both sides of the story and there is no attempt to get information from one party that is “badmouthed”.


  3. OK, you hate Tucker Carlson because he doesn’t apologize for being White.

    You make up a fantasy about him hanging out in a country club.

    You pile on the ad hominems.

    Specifically, what does he say that isn’t true?

  4. “Politically nihilistic” is NOT the same as apolitical.

    Trumptards are politically nihilistic.
    Trying their best to fulfill the fake “prophecy” falsely attributed to Albert Pike:

    “We shall unleash the nihilists”.

    The only thing they actually believe in is Mammon.
    They’ve shown they’ll ditch DramaQueenDon in a heartbeat; then he behaves, instantly.

    Even “The Wall”. If Mammon told ’em to ditch it, and embrace #OpenBorders like USA had #WhenAmericaWasGreat… They would.

    Hell, Q, or any DeepState psyop agency worth its salt could do it.

  5. Reading this, reminds me of the timeline progressing from Cronkite and Rather to Tucker and Ingram.
    The administrative reset of 1999, across the spectrum of media certainly appears to have forethought of 9/11 and following 2 decades. As Trump has proven, negative press, does not go to waste in the hands of opportunism. It is time to ignore Tucker and the fascists. That is how we rid ourselves.
    The niche that is wide open, is educating Canadiens and Aussies about their governmental structure. There is a noticeable push by monarchy at present. Relevance is currency.

    • Have to say, David, Cronkite and Rather both danced around the JFK assassination and 9/11 just as adroitly as Tucker does today. How could it be otherwise given the total control of the MSM by… You know who.

  6. Tucker Carlson is the perfect example of “controlled opposition”. He pretends to provide expert analysis but he never, ever makes a point to confront the establishment. His so-called documentary gave more time to George Bush and his flunkies than to exposing the extent of the massive government cover-up of voter fraud masquerading as an “insurrection”. Just another YAWN!

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